


Telepathy Does Not Exist

by meiloslyther



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Crack, Gen, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-20
Updated: 2010-07-20
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiloslyther/pseuds/meiloslyther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan thinks he's gone insane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Telepathy Does Not Exist

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt "telepathy (sudden onset)" on my [](http://hc-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://hc-bingo.livejournal.com/)**hc_bingo** card. There is so much cheese and corn in this, you'd swear it was a Mexican dish. I can hear the hordes of rats and mice swarming already. BUT I WROTE IT.

"Morning Ry!" Brendon chirped when I stepped into the kitchenette. "Please don't snap at me, I hate it when you snap at me in the mornings."

I looked at him closely. "Excuse me?" If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn Brendon had learned ventriloquism overnight because he kind of just spoke _without moving his lips_.

"Sorry," he muttered, ducking his head. "Jeez, why do you always have to be so mean to me?"

I blinked a little because he did it _again_ , and I shook my head, convinced I just needed a cup of coffee, that I wasn't awake yet.

When Jon walked in and greeted us, somehow saying, "Brendon looks like he just got beaten with a broomstick, Ryan must have woken up in a bad mood again," without opening his mouth, I knew something was up. This was not normal, no way.

Spencer came in later, ruffling my hair with a smile. "I heard you jerking off last night. Again. Asshole."

I choked on my coffee and spun around to look at him. "What?"

Spencer raised an eyebrow at me. "What what?"

"You just... you said..."

Spencer's voice said, "You're a crazy fucker," and his face agreed heartily, but his mouth never moved and I was honestly _losing my shit_. There were voices in my head that sounded like my best friends, and they were all insulting me.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on here?" I asked irritably, slamming my coffee mug on the table.

"Oh great," came Brendon's voice, and I turned back to glare at him. "What are you talking about?" he actually spoke then, trying to sound innocent and succeeding.

"Spoke too soon," was the response in my head that sounded like Jon.

"I should be asking you the same question," Spencer muttered, but when I turned to look, he wasn't speaking either, just looking at me with the same confused look on his face. "I mean, come on. You know you can't keep quiet."

Horrified, I scrambled out of my seat, falling on the floor. "What did you guys do to me?" This had to be some kind of sick practical joke.

Brendon raised an eyebrow at me. "He's gone off the deep end," his voice commented in awe.

"Dude, are you okay?" Jon asked, and I was strangely glad to see his lips move.

"No, I mean really. I know we've known each other for years, but you need to stop jerking off where everyone can hear you," Spencer continued from his corner, and I could have screamed.

"Ryan?" Brendon sounded a little scared, but I was too worried about if his lips moved when he said it or not.

"The least you could do is bite a fucking pillow or something," Spencer ranted, his mouth still completely still.

That was it. I covered my ears with my hands and screamed until I blacked out.

***

"God, how can I still be your friend after all these years?" I heard Spencer whisper, and I opened my eyes to find him sitting on the edge of my bunk, leaning over me. "After all the shit you put me through," he added, and his lips still weren't moving.

I suddenly came to the startling conclusion that he was _thinking_ this shit.

"Spence... please, don't think," I muttered, wanting to shut my eyes again, but needing to know when he was actually talking.

His eyebrows came together confusedly. "Why?"

"I-I think I can hear your thoughts."

"He's fucking insane," he thought, and I cringed.

"Spence, please. Really, I can hear them, don't think I'm crazy."

Spencer's eyes widened and all he could do was blink at me. A swarm of thoughts bombarded me. "Oh shit, he knows... Did I think about- no, no, don't think about it now... God, Ryan, this is fucking creepy and just..." He sighed, and the thoughts stopped. "How... how long?"

"Just-just this morning."

"So you know I...?"

I nodded. "I heard you ranting at me. I'm sorry, I didn't know... I-I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know, sometimes I don't think about how loud I am, it's not like I try to be or anything."

"Holy shit." I wasn't looking, so I didn't know if he said it or thought it.

"And I'm sorry for snapping at people in the mornings, especially Brendon. You know I'm not a morning person, and he's always so hyper... I just don't want to hear people thinking bad things about me anymore."

He pulled me into a hug then, thankfully not saying or thinking anything.

***

The rest of that day was hell. I could hear every little thing that anyone thought. It was almost impossible to play durning the show that night because of the deafening crowd, plus their thoughts screaming, "God, Brendon and I would make hot babies," and, "I bet Spencer is amazing in bed," and, "Oh my god, I can see Ryan's monstercock!" and, "Damn, I wonder what _else_ Jon can do with those hands."

Of course, those were the tamer thoughts; some of them were more along the lines of, "Yeah, Brendon, get all up in Ryan's space, kiss him, kiss him," and, "Spencer is totally staring at Brendon's ass, oh my god, he totally wants it," and, "Is Jon looking over at Ryan? He totally is, and did he just smile at him?"

Really, children these days.

In the dressing room afterwards, Spencer came up beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

"I guess. I'm just so tired... you don't want to know what those kids were thinking about you and Brendon."

Spencer made a face.

"I don't know, all this listening to people's thoughts... I just feel so drained."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders in a small hug. "We'll be back on the bus soon. You'll feel better after a good night's sleep."

I gave him a small, hopeful smile when he pulled away, and I trusted him.


End file.
